therapy for relational trauma in connecticut and psypact states
Stop trying to please everyone else in hopes that you’ll feel connection. Start to tune into your feelings and build real relationships.
You’re constantly on edge trying to figure out what others are feeling and what they need and want. You’re afraid if you miss something, they’ll get upset or leave.
Others have made you feel like your feelings are too overwhelming or even worse that you’re “too much” overall. You’ve learned to check out from your feelings and become hyper aware of others’ feelings. You try to predict how people will respond to you, so you can prevent making any missteps that lead to disconnection.
In the process of trying to please everyone else, you’ve abandoned your feelings, needs, and wants. You’re starting to feel resentful about it. You’re realizing the strategy you thought was helping you stay connected to others is actually preventing you from building real relationships.
Your people pleasing probably started as an attempt to protect yourself. Maybe your parents or caregivers weren’t able to acknowledge your feelings, or you felt like you had to take care of them, or they were unpredictable about how they responded to your needs. Maybe you’ve experienced relationship(s) where you’ve felt like it was easier to ignore your needs than try to express yourself and feel misunderstood or unheard. You may or may not have realized this is a trauma response.
Your feelings and needs aren’t too much. You’re deserving of relationships with genuine connection.
It has been a long time since you’ve tuned into what you’re feeling and what you really want and need. I can help. You might feel worried that you’ll get overwhelmed by your feelings now, and you’re used to thinking you can’t rely on others to help with your feelings. I’ll support you with staying present with your feelings without getting overwhelmed. You’ll start to build your trust that it’s possible for others to hear and understand your emotions. You’ll get more confident in expressing your needs and wants with others. Your relationships will feel genuine instead of one-sided.
Tune into your feelings, wants, and needs
Build your capacity to sit with your feelings
Get confident in expressing your emotions and needs to others
Rewrite your stories about what to expect in relationships
What we’ll work on
Here’s what we’ll do together:
ready to get started?